giving faith a fighting chance

Life is so unpredictable. Everyone makes mistakes, it is whether you're lucky enough to go through it, or it will cause your whole life to come crashing down. It's so confusing really, how sometimes you can be so happy, and the next, you feel as if life is just not worth living anymore. I for one, am definitely not a pessimist, but never have I imagined how much pain one can take in until you tell yourself that's enough. Yea, it's easy to just tell yourself and listen to other people telling you not to worry, stay positive, keep your head up and smile. But often I wonder, how big an impact can such mere words make?

Despite the pain and the tough situation everyone undergoes, there are a few outcomes to it. You either turn out to be a warrior, or you just cave in and allow everything to fall apart. Not even inspirational quotes, words, or songs can lift you up again. I call that, beyond repair. 

But it's glad to know the best thing that comes out of all these; you get to see who are truly in your support system. The people who are fighting alongside with you, the people who keep encouraging you despite how it becomes a tiresome routine, and the people who have such strong faith and belief in you, it's hard to lose faith yourself. Staying strong for these people are what makes it all worth it. 

People are going to talk behind your back, they will judge, they will give weird stares that causes insecurities and make you extra conscious about everything, but you know what? I know it's gonna be tough, and probably impossible, but living with all these is inevitable. I control myself, not others. It's easy to just allow everybody's judgment to get to you, but it will be easier if I learn the hard way how to not get affected by them. As mum said, I do not owe them anything, they do not pay my salary in the future, they do not feed me, I do not need their permission to live my life. So, they can go on and make judgments, I do not know what they may earn out of it, but I shall not stop them. Some things, we just can't control. We need only put our strong faith in it that things will be alright. 

Note to self : Believe in yourself, when everyone else don't. Promise me, you'll give faith a fighting chance, and never ever back down. 

"Our hearts are stronger than we know"